Grandparenting with a Disability
The Savvy Senior
By Robert Goodman, MSW
Grandparenting, in general, can be fun and also exhausting. Adding a disability into the mix raises a number of issues. Having a disability gives you the opportunity to teach your grandchildren how to interact with people with disabilities.
The question of grandparenting with a disability was raised at our visually impaired support group last year. Many members were concerned that they could no longer care for their grandchildren. Grandparents with disabilities can still enjoy their grandchildren.
Young children are curious and notice changes in your health. They are eager to be helpful. The best approach is to explain your visual, hearing or physical disability in a way they can understand. Explain your abilities and limitations and how the grandchild can be of help. For example, if you have a visual disability you can explain that you cannot see small print but ask if they have any books with big print. Many children’s books are written in larger print. You can explain the proper etiquette in meeting a blind person such as not leaving a room without telling the person with a visual impairment. Teach about color contrast and use it when interacting with them. There are many games that are available in large print such as cards, Scrabble, and more.
Teaching your grandchildren about disability and people with disabilities can make them more compassionate toward others as they grow up. It also teaches them the best way to interact with someone with a disability. Another lesson you teach them is about overcoming obstacles in their lives. You have to have a positive attitude about your disability so that your grandchildren will better understand you and learn not to fear people with disabilities.
Babysitting was raised as a concern for someone who has a visual disability. My experience has taught me to be sure the grandchildren are in a safe place where you can see them or know where they are. Interact with them with games while they are awake. Putting them to bed should not be too difficult if they cooperate. Perhaps an older child can be of assistance. A monitor could help you keep an “eye” on the sleeping child.
There are two websites that offer suggestions on how to interact with grandchildren when you have a disability: www.karmanhealthcare.com/learning-from-grandparents-with-disabilities and
http://grandparents.about.com/od/grandparentingtoday/a/DisabledGPs.htm.
Some of their suggestion include the following:
- Eat right and get plenty of rest. This will help with your interaction with your grandchildren.
- If you are in a wheelchair ask someone to place a young baby in your lap so you can hold him or her
- Tell stories about your life and family history
- Use technology to communicate with your grandchildren. They can probably help you with your tech concerns. There are computer programs and games that can make it easier to interact with grandchildren.
- Be a good listener. Discuss with them their concerns about their lives
- Use assistive devices, such as wheelchairs to travel with your grandchildren.
- You can do art and crafts projects with your grandchildren. If you can help them visually you can explain how to make things that you may have done in your life.