The 5 Stages of Grief
The grief that follows the loss of someone or something dear to us can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage—acceptance.
Five Stages Of Grief
- Denial and Isolation. At first, the grieving person tends to deny the loss has taken place and may withdraw from usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments or longer.
- Anger. The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if that person is dead), or at the world, God, or him/herself for letting it happen even if realistically nothing could have stopped it.
- Bargaining. Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, “If I do this, will you take away the loss?”
- Depression. The person feels numb although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
- Acceptance. Anger, sadness, and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
Grief And Stress
During grief, it is common to experience feelings such as sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt. When people suggest “looking on the bright side,” the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Denying these feelings and failing to work through the five stages of grief will make it harder for healing to take place.
Recovering From Grief
Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly with good self-care habits. It helps to have a close circle of family or friends. Seek out bereavement support groups (see pg 51), including those online. Eating a balanced diet, drinking plenty of fluids, exercising, and resting are critical. If good self-care habits are practiced, it can be very helpful in dealing with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached.